my mouth tastes like poor choices
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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