i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Four minutes until I can fart!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I have already put on my inside pants.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
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