I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Less talking, more tequila
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
