what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We need a shit load of segways right now
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
