this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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