Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
