Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
