remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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