What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
