i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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