areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
MIDGETS
????
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
