I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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