She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
