I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
