What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
pop tarts are not kleenex
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
