she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
