can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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