I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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