So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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