We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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