Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
