made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
