with your own penis?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
