I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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