The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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