Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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