I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
we're making bets on your personal life
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
