i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
