i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
