i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
