we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
