i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
