i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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