we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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