dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize