Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
