She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
