I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
