i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
