new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I wear drunk well.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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