you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
