if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
