At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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