he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It's shark week go big or go home
I need to calm my uterus...
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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