His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
