My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
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