Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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