so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
