I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
