Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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