I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
