i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
